I don’t know how I will ever actually keep track of the days. Husband is spending a lot of time working on his full therapeutic disclosure (ftd). This is good so we can get it done. But this is scary too. I am nervous to hear about all the acting out he engaged in during his active addiction. Especially in one sitting. I think the shear volume of information will overwhelm me, physically, emotionally and mentally. I do want it all on the table. I want to have questions answered and not have to worry that there is more. But like, the volume. The amount of acting out. The amount of sex with people that are not me. I don’t know if I am equipped or prepared enough to hear it all. And that’s not even taking into account all the other inner circle behavior. The porn, the messaging with ppl, the pictures, the masturbation, the apps and Craigslist. I hope I am able to recover from all of this.
Gratitude:
- Baby boys ❤️
- Baby 3 always moving
- Work on my class yesterday. Must keep moving forward on that today.
- Temp fence is complete, we can play outside in an enclosed area
- Being productive
- Coffee
- Cool mornings
- Hubs work day is back to FT but starts early, so lots of fam time this summer
- Hubs continues to work his recovery
- It’s still June.
Intentions: Be present with my boys, enjoy time as a family, get things done that are important for me.
Affirmations: I am a good mom and a really good wife. I am an empathetic caring person who works hard for her family and to make this world a place I want for myself and my children.
The (mis)Adventures of the MayBee Mom 