A day off

I started to write I need to refocus, get back to gratitude, etc, etc, etc, when what I need to do is to just DO IT! I will start my day with gratitude. I will get 8000 steps minimum, I will plan my day (food) so that I can be successful. These are basic things that I will do for myself.

This weekend has been tough. So many varying feelings and thoughts. Sadness over what has happened in my life, how sex addiction has had a negative impact in so many ways. And even though I am upset with the hubs about all of it, I am really upset and disappointed in myself. How did I let all this happen. It has been so insidious. I feel like i was not strong and let go of my hopes and dreams and goals. I allowed this disease to slow my growth and development. Which then makes me think that I am not a worthy person, I am a loser.

I am still struggling with diet and weight. Like so much. I am disgusted with how I look and feel. This compounds all the other feelings. I am have not been able to keep the mojo going. I keep allowing myself to get derailed. I need to do this and I will do this and I will not allow one choice or one meal or one day stop me. I will just acknowledge and move forward.

Gratitude:

1. MLK, his life and legacy
2. 3 day weekend
3. Purging
4. Lovely long walk with Leo
5. Being given clothes for the boys
6. Being able to give clothes to someone else to use
7. Sleeping in
8. Being alive
9. My baby boys
10. Hubs working recovery

Intentions: I will walk today, I will make healthy choices, I will prep for the week.

Affirmations: I deserve love and kindness. I am a good mom.