Snowy Day

Gratitude:

1. Snow
2. Quarantine ended
3. Medication
4. Baby boys
5. Baby snuggles
6. Fresh baked cookies
7. Target trips
8. H cleaning the house
9. Ppl love my children
10. Fire place

I don’t where I am at. I got my period, first one since getting pregnant with baby Buddha, bitter sweet. I started taking Zoloft but it can take 2-6 weeks to kick in. I am so unhappy with how I look, I feel disgusting and I am not able to harness this to turn things around. I am embarrassed with how fat I am. Do I even love my H at this point? I don’t really know. I really hope he doesn’t read this, as that would really hurt him and I don’t want to do that either. I really think it’s that situation of if you don’t really love yourself, you can really love others. I don’t know. We have a couples therapy appt tomorrow, first one together with a CSAT. I hope it helps.