Grateful Sunday

My eating feels out of control. I have been binge eating lately, a lot. It is such a shitty cycle. It makes me feel bad about the eating and in turn how I look and feel in my skin, which encourages further binging. I am struggling to control this negative cycle, I have not been able to grasp the reins on it and use it to motivate me to change. I have also been inconsistent taking my antidepressants which has not been intentional, but I am assuming this has been having a negative impact too. I actually think I may also need an increase in meds, but that’s difficult to say when I am not being consistent.

We are going to a graduation party today. I will see people I haven’t seen in awhile. I am embarrassed by how fat I am and how bad I look. I don’t really want to go because I don’t want to be seen. It feels shitty. I think it is important that we do not have food in our home that I want to avoid. I think I have been getting in a kind of addictive cycle, having a little makes me crave more and more.

Gratitude:

1. Weekend
2. Time for myself
3. Yoga this AM
4. My funny lovey boys
5. Lilies are blooming
6. Cuddles with Buddha baby
7. Choices
8. Flowers from my son and hir.
9. Last week of school
10. Yummy banana bread