I kind of hope it’s an endless summer…as hard as pregnancy can be, I don’t want it to fly by. And the delivery part is not high on my favorites list. I am already nervous about it! I have enjoyed family time. And I have not terribly missed regular life. These two babies keep me busy enough as it is. Day 1 was a success and I felt good about the day. Day 2 is off, I just wish I had gotten better sleep last night.

Gratitude:

1. Beautiful weather
2. Baby boys
3. We’re not out numbered yet, even thou it feels like it
4. Coffee
5. Summer vacation
6. Getting things done
7. Walking to the park
8. Good dog
9. No more bears
10. Girls Night (although I am actually a little apprehensive about it)

Intentions: I will enjoy my family today. I will get things done that are important to me. I will drink water. I will not stay in an uncomfortable situation.

Affirmations: I am a good person. I care about other people. I love my children. I am a good wife and mother.

School finished on Friday. We had a nice weekend. It was great to not have work stuff either hanging over me on the weekend or having to be done on the weekend. It actually felt relaxing. Hubs did some recovery work. I still have questions, repeats and new ones regarding his acting out and past behaviors. I don’t know if I will ever get used to it. Frequently feels like I am being sucker punched when thoughts of his acting out behaviors intrude upon my mind. We are preparing for the full therapeutic disclosure (FTD) and it is making me nervous. Sometimes I want to get it over with and other times I want to avoid it. Even planning for the aftermath, it makes me unsettled. I just need to pick that aside for now.

Gratitude:

1. Baby boys, they are so lovey
2. Squirmy bun in the oven
3. Summer!
4. Time to focus on me and recovery
5. Moving forward on home projects
6. Great weekend
7. Farm fresh strawberries
8. Family
9. Heating pad
10. Waking up (not being woken up!)

Intentions: Enjoy my children and my day. Follow my plan to get things done for me and for us. Drink water and move.

Affirmations: I am a good mom and wife. I am working on my recovery from trauma. I am always working to improve our lives.

Gratitude:

1. Baby boys
2. Went to a store!
3. Bought the grocery’s I want
4. Top chef yesterday
5. Slept in
6. Coffee
7. It’s not raining yet
8. Baby kicks
9. Hubs made dinner and breakfast
10. It’s the weekend

Intentions: Enjoy family time. Have fun together. Be productive: finish labeling & organizing the baby clothes. Work on the PCI. Drink water and walk.

Affirmations: I am a good wife and mother. I work hard in my career and at home. I get things done.

It has been hard starting my day with gratitude and my intentions. I need to double down on this. Listening to a weekday wake via Spotify has been nice too. Setting aside 10-15 min for myself in the AM should be doable. I deserve it and I need it.

Gratitude:

1. More cookies
2. A day off yesterday
3. Baby boys
4. The baby cooking
5. Hubs is working his recovery
6. Bird in the house but got out quickly with little mess
7. So close to summer
8. Time with my family
9. Coffee
10. My comfy bed

Intentions: Work my 4.5 hours, find the space between stimulus and response, be softer to myself

Affirmations: I am a good mom and a good wife. I love my family. I will take care of myself.

Gratitude:

1. Bubba and baby bear
2. Bun in the oven
3. It’s still the weekend
4. Great weather
5. Baby geese
6. Making cookies with bubba
7. Hubs is working his recovery
8. Each day is a little better even though sometimes it is hard to see
9. My comfy bed
10. Clean outdoor furniture

Intentions: Be productive, while taking time to enjoy the day and my family

Affirmations: I am a good mother and wife. I love my family. I am always working to make things better.

This is just not the way I thought life would be.

Gratitude: 1. Baby boys 2. Feeling the new baby more regularly 3. Warm weather 4. Only 2 weeks of school left 5. Sitting outside for 5 peaceful minutes 6. My job and insurance 7. Princess tree 8. Top Chef 9. Things are getting better. 10. The sound of the birds.

Intentions: I will find the space btw stimulus and reaction. I will enjoy my family. I will feel good about my day.

Affirmations: I work really hard. I am a good mom and wife. I am working on myself.

I have been having such a hard few days. Just lots of sadness and loneliness. I have to my daily gratitude. I have to do it.

Gratitude:

1. Baby boys
2. A baby who wants to hold your hand while you push him in the stroller
3. Nicer weather finally!
4. Below Deck
5. Yasso yogurt bars
6. A job
7. Kind neighbors who bring you produce
8. A little down time
9. Special time with my big boy today coloring and doing “work” together in the office
10. Coffee and smoothies

Affirmations: I am a hard worker. I am a good mother.

Started the day with a the Wake Up Wind Down guy on Spotify which my hubs shared with me. It was a nice way to start the day. I also got a positive message from a student I had sent some encouraging words to which also made me feel great. I am feel like my cough is worse and I don’t feel great today. I think I have to get tested. Someone at hubs work tested positive. 😩 I am feeling upset and a little resentful about this.

Gratitude:

Had my anatomy scan first thing this morning. All looks good and healthy. And definitely another boy!

Gratitude:

1. Healthy bun in the oven
2. In and out of the hospital quickly
3. Beautiful loving baby boys
4. Good dog
5. Sunny morning
6. Came home to yummy healthy (sorta) muffins, oatmeal, and coffee
7. My car
8. Being home with my family
9. Hubs working crazy early shifts to be home with us and to keep us safe
10. Hubs working his programs and in recovery

Intentions: Listen to my body especially my hunger cues (or is it something else?). Be focused and efficient during my scheduled work time. Enjoy the time with my family.

Affirmations: I am a good momma who loves her babies. I am a good, supportive wife. I am a strong person.

Had my anatomy scan first thing this morning. All looks good and healthy. And definitely another boy!

Gratitude:

1. Healthy bun in the oven
2. In and out of the hospital quickly
3. Beautiful loving baby boys
4. Good dog
5. Sunny morning
6. Came home to yummy healthy (sorta) muffins, oatmeal, and coffee
7. My car
8. Being home with my family
9. Hubs working crazy early shifts to be home with us and to keep us safe
10. Hubs working his programs and in recovery

Intentions: Listen to my body especially my hunger cues (or is it something else?). Be focused and efficient during my scheduled work time. Enjoy the time with my family.

Affirmations: I am a good momma who loves her babies. I am a good, supportive wife. I am a strong person.